You guys know I have a pseudonymous journal, that I use to work out my anger and issues with my ex. I know that it's upsetting enough that it might tweak people's issues and feelings, and that's the part of it that's hard for me. But I try to be responsible about it. I try to make it funny and fun for people to read. Not that these kind of artistic or creative exercises have to be funny that's just my choice. But I don't play with people's minds in that if anyone posts that they hate me as the character, that's okay, but if they seem hurt or enraged I'll let them know ASAP that it's just a parody and my unique way of finding healing and closure. I have posted a couple of funny little things on other people's journals in order to make people laugh, but I won't allow any kind of relationship to develop with anyone as this character. I've had people e-mail me as Imajerk, trying to befriend him, but I'll just let them know it isn't real. (What kind of person would want to befriend a guy like this, well I guess I did once, but my version has none of the charm of the original.) I don't want to hurt anyone for my own amusement and sport. That would border on evil, and would land me right smack in the middle of sociopathic madness territory.
I love some of the fake journals we have here, like Bill Clinton, and Monica, Janet Reno, Elian Gonzales, and some of the other one's I can't remember right now. I know a lot of people love Andy Kauffman and a big part of Paul Ruben's art was that he tried not to break character in public. But here in Livejournal Land, where people are sharing really intimate glimpses into their lives, it pisses me off that there are folks who take advantage of this and screw with our minds. I know this is part of net culture. We've all been warned or had run-ins with men pretending to be women and vice versa, but the kind of stuff that's been going on around here is really, really despicable. I mean when you dramatize a life for people, drawing them in like a bad spider, and allow them to care about you, think of you as a friend, and then fake a very dramatic death, tearing a big hole in our collective communal fabric, you're just so low I don't know what to say to you. I will say that is totally unacceptable to do this to me! Maybe other people don't mind as much, but for my part, to do something that has me crying and thinking about this imaginary person for days and days as if they were real, well that's just so stinking filthy rotten and corrupt I want to smack you. Beyond this is the fact that you are a stalker and that you are abusive.
I think it takes a certain amount of self control to be able to play here. To run around posting and e-mailing people and harming them psychologically, as if this were just some giant toy for your personal amusement is really pathetic. I'm hurt, I'm angry and I'm sad because now I really know that I can't trust anyone anymore. I trust my instinct and that's about it. I guess that's as it should be, which is probably a better lesson than any I thought I might have learned because of your passing. Pretending to die just so you can come back as someone else, and find another way to stalk someone who is smart enough to have figured out how scary you are, is such a betrayal. You need a little lesson in decency when you selfishly choose to hurt the people who trusted and cared about the real you behind the words, and all the crap and deception. BTW if anyone ever uses me in this way again, by telling stories so tragic that I cry and am haunted by them, but they turn out to be utter bullshit, I will reach my hands through this screen and squeeze the life out of you.
I'm okay everybody, I didn't get hurt anywhere near as much as some of my pals here did. I just had to get this off my chest.