Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

My Dream Analysis

I was writing about yesterday's dream posting to a pal in the comments section of my journal and then I felt like I'd like to share this with you here so I kind of changed the comment a bit so I could share it;

I am realllly into dreams and I worry that when I post them I'll bore the hell out of people. I'm thrilled that there are actually dream communities here on LJ, I try to remember to post them here but usually forget. I've studied a little bit about dreams and I ascribe to the Jungian method of dream analysis where everything, and I do mean everything, is a meaningful symbol that represents some part of yourself. When I dialogue with these symbols in a kind of present tense interview style I'm always amazed at how present and pertinent the dream material is to whatever I'm going through at the time.

Houses usually represent us, our bodies, our selves, and rooms would of course be different parts of us. Then of course there's all the Joseph Campbell and Freud stuff (ha ha, stuff, wouldn't an academic scoff at that?) about attics and basements etc.

I constantly dream about houses, sometimes they're empty, neglected, deserted, and then sometimes they're loaded with people and things. I think it just depends on what I'm going through and what my subconscious is trying to communicate to me, or trying to work through.

In this case I'm guessing that since the house is so big and full of people I'm feeling really full and possibly overburdened, overwhelmed maybe as I have tons of pets and am responsible for the income of two families and their kids. The ghosts might be something as simple as the ghosts or hurts of my past, things I want to let go of but that are haunting me, maybe the freakish carny characters are part of this as well. Family in dreams usually represents my desperate craving or need for family and community. Wanting to bring my computer into my house or metaphorical body is my trying to incorporate my online life -- that I find so rewarding and satisfying -- into my real life. The fact that I've left it outside and unprotected and want to bring it in is interesting to me. Also the house is undergoing changes and renovations, there are walls missing, parts that have fallen apart are being repaired, that would also be an easy fit considering what I've been going through lately. I had weight loss surgery in March and have lost over 120 lbs and am now embarking on the revisionary surgery process, tummy tucks, thigh lifts, boob jobs, etc., yikes. Sex is probably just sex, I've been really off my mark sexually due to all of these hormonal changes and perhaps all of this crowding of animals and people in my metaphorical as well as my literal house is making it hard for us as a couple to relax and be sexual together, so I'm obviously trying to work through that. The men in the dream who are forcing sex on me are father figures and I have all kinds of issues with Daddy, both of my fathers are or were absentee, my adoptive father just kind of went along for the ride when my Mom chose to adopt me. He was too old really and had never wanted to have a child so his fathering was always very distant and ambivalent although I of course adored him. My birth father is a ghost to me as my birth mother won't tell me anything more than that he was a horrible man and a rapist. I'm not certain she's telling the truth. I can't trust her because her story has changed so many times and frankly who wants to believe they are descended from rape stock. Makes me want to call my old friend Mariska Harguitay and talk with her about this since I recently learned that her character on Law and Order SVU had a rapist for a dad. Blah.

Moving on to happier things, I think the moth is me as well and represents my best self, the gentle, loving, beautiful part of me that yearns to fly free. Dreams are amazing! I wish I had the time to really tear them apart on a daily basis. I have this terrific computer program that I just love called Dream Scape and I never have the time to run my dreams through it, blah. I know that basic dream symbolism can't be applied to everyone since all of our symbols are unique to us but sometimes this program is so right on the mark for me and some symbols are pretty universal like fire and water. But I've rambled long enough and have to go. Right now I'm robbing time from one thing to just write to you here, oh well.

Big loving hugs,

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