Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

My Weird Catholic Dream

I am back in high school, but it's at a different location and mixed with my grammar school. Some of my favorite sisters are here. I love them, but I am also afraid of them. I want them to like me but I feel as if they can see into me and recognize me as being unfit or bad, a poseur to goodness.

It is the first day of school. I have brought my son and a little daughter that I have. I have also brought a white dog, a pony, and several of our favorite cats. We are trying to round them up to leave, but they have scattered. At the end of this hallway about to go up some stairs I am calling them. I want to shout their names or feel free to call loudly, but I don't want to disrupt classes. I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I brought our animals and that none of us are where we should be which is in class.

Part of the symbolism in this dream seems to be about trying to hold on to too many things. We are trying to leave but I am having a hard time holding and getting the kids to hold all of the pets and are stuff. If we put one of the cats down he or she might run away. We put Coco down and he seems to be following us to the car. We are crossing a parking lot when I see my Mother driving up in her car. I think uh oh now I'm going to be in trouble. My little girl is carrying a bouquet of flowers and a fruit tart. Mother is going to criticize me for having spent money.

we pass her and continue to the main high school building where the Sisters are. I am worried about what Sister Colette and Margaret will think of us. They confront me about bringing animals to school. I apologize and feel badly. I am wearing clothes that are really weird and revealing, like a sweater or sweatshirt that is too short and see thru stalkings so my breasts are covered but not my vagina. I tell my daughter to give the fruit tart to the sisters but it has been partially eaten. They take it anyway.

Now I am with the Nuns and we are reading something to each other and seated on a couch. Now I'm afraid that when I get up they'll see how weirdly dressed I am. No one ever seems to notice this but me. They are talking to me about getting rid of the swings because they heard that it is possible to dissociate while swinging and that if this happened then they could be sued. Their insurance will be much less if they get rid of the swings. I love the swings and don't want to see them go, but I am afraid of the Sisters and don't want to disagree with them. They also want to get rid of some antique couches and chairs that I had encouraged them to buy. I don't mind that as much so I support that.

As I am about to leave Sr. Margaret tells me that she needs my help in going up to her room. I take half of her books for her. I am telling her that it's a privilege to be able to go to the convent with her. I always wanted to see what it was like. In grammar school I had always wanted to see the inside of the castle where the Sisters lived.

We are in this tiny elevator. There is another little girl with us. They are telling me I will have to sign some kind of nondisclosure or confidentiality agreement. How weird. The elevator is really confining. I am in the front and we are so squished together. In order to go up though, Sister Margaret needs to use this key, and the slot is near the front where I am. I have to duck down in order for her to use it.

When we get out of the elevator everything falls on the floor. Sister Margaret has lots of notes and things. She is upset because hundreds of her post its have scattered everywhere, she needs these to be kept in order and it is impossible to know how they were. She is also worried about what people will think of her for bringing us up here and making a scene by spilling everything on the floor. We try to pick everything up as quickly as possible. She keeps saying, "My book, my book."

Around the corner there is this kind of reception desk. Everything is strange here, There's all of this hustle and bustle going on. Plus it's much larger than I thought and a little bit spooky and secretive and just weird. The little girl and I go into this room where there is a video playing or something and a shrine. I begin to worry if this is really just some kind of devil worshipping place and that we've all been fooled. Then I realize what they're trying to protect, a child, a little boy. At first I'm thinking Rosemary's Baby, he's a devil child. But then I realize he's the second coming, the messiah, and that's the reason for all the secrecy.

Beau and another little boy are here with me and they run away into an area that is off limits. They run down this hallway and people are really upset and are paging us over an intercom. They are running towards to child and that is not allowed. On the intercom they are saying that if we don't come back sister Margaret will have to pay for the trouble we are causing, which of course hooks me.

I had another dream about a trip. I keep worrying I'm going to miss my plane. I need to pack but I have too many things and it's so hard to decide which ones to leave behind. I don't want to leave anything behind. But time is passing and I have to hurry or I will miss this plane and I have to let go of something.

Mom is here, she doesn't seem to mind that we are missing planes and late. She has brought her jewelry and I am looking through it. I want these pearl earrings. They are inexpensive and not important enough for her to wear so maybe she will let me have them. One of the pair of earrings has pink pearls but there is a kind of pink stain on one of the earrings.

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