Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

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I am totally freaked out! I've been up all night. I don't know who is real and who isn't anymore. I don't know who to ban and who to keep. I feel sick. I feel knocked off my center, and to think this is all just a bunch of fun for someone. Now I'm not even sure of my friends and I'm running around through all the journals tryig to sleuth things out. This is hell. The cruel unfair thing here is that I am not a toy, I'm real, and I don't deserve to be played with and manipulated. My time and my feelings and my thoughts are valuable even if they aren't to you.

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

Ani Difranco

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