Yesterday was tough and today promises to be equally challenging, or perhaps depending on the circumstances, how things turn out, it might be a little easier than yesterday but whatever the case I am and will remain exhausted for a little while to come.
The detectives will be arriving around ten this morning to listen in and record the phone call from my friend the extortionist, if he chooses to call. All of my phone lines have been tapped since I reported the incident to the police, which is a weird feeling, knowing that all of my calls are being monitored in some way. When I pick up the phone to dial out it makes a kind of stuttering clicking sound that lets me know things are not functioning here as they usually do.
I don't know why this would affect our DSL lines as well, but it does and I keep getting signed off, which is just one of the many reasons why it is hard to write back to all of you to answer your questions and thank you personally. I've never been able to do this adequately in any case because when I get so many kind responses, while it is so helpful and makes me feel wonderful, it's really hard to write back to each of you individually as these kinds of things usually come when I'm in the midst of some crisis, or super busy period in my life, and I have to put my son, my family, and our animal companions first. Handling just the basics of my life is often more than I can handle and then time passes and I have to move on. Please let me say again how very grateful I am to all of you for your unwavering support. I read each and every one of your responses and am sending my love back to you as I read them.
Given what I've learned about my suddenly ex-housekeeper/assistant/wanted-her-to-b
It amazes me how kind I was to her and how far I was willing to go to help her. We threw her a birthday party within days of her beginning to work for us and after every screw up and slip up I patiently explained why her behavior had been harmful or hurtful in some way, forgave her for it, gave her another chance and moved on. We were well beyond the usual three chances and then you're out rule before we received this nasty phone call. Everything that has happened, everything I have learned about her, in adding this all up, putting all of our stories together, since her leaving, leads me to suspect her and make her my top candidate for having planned all of this from the beginning. How is it possible that someone can make themselves seem so wonderful and sweet and fly under my normally ultra super sensitive radar? I'm guessing it's because I'm so GD compassionate and forgiving, thank you very much Marymount, no seriously, thank you nevertheless.
I have to get going to take my little man to school here. He's missed two more days, which, given all of the problems he's been having in school lately, is pretty much the last thing he needed, but he was so frightened and hasn't been able to sleep at night, every sound startled him, so what could I do?
Beau's Father, my ex, called and left a message last night saying that he had called us six weeks ago and we hadn't called him back and that was unfair and yada yada yada. If I were Beau's I wouldn't be in a position where I just dropped in and out of his life like some buddy whenever it was convenient for me, leaving messages that weren't returned, and then not following up on this for six friggin' weeks. Argh!
Oh God, I have to leave all of this unfinished and unedited because I had to stop halfway through writing this --- I had wanted to share with you all about my Day in Laguna dividing and cleaning out the contents of Scott's deceased Dad's house but had to rush off to show our new housekeeper, (who at this point seems sweet but a little delicate for this kind of work,) how to take Beau to school. Then it took a while to get back, we're cleaning like mad women so the house will be sparkling before the police arrive -- it's okay, I'm just paranoid and extra careful when it comes to my animals, esp. after everything that's gone down recently -- and I was just going to rush up here, get dressed, (I'm still in my nightgown, haven't showered for two days, one of my kitties won't even let me type -- keeps pushing on my hands for attention, walking on the keyboard), finish this up and post it when the phone rang. Beau who has been diagnosed with ADD took his first medication for this today (Aderall) and is feeling really awful, sick to his stomach, dizzy and crying for no reason. He says he feels like he's on laughing gas. Off to get him and try to get back in time for the cops. Last night I had to rush our rat Pinky to the emergency hospital. It never ever ends. Fuck.