Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

We were just getting into our Halloween yard decorating here when the skies decided to open up and rain on us, causing all kinds of dangerous electronic sparks and pops, damnit. I so hope it doesn't rain on Halloween this year like it did last year, that was so unfun for the kiddlings. Although I prefer gloomy, rainy, grey days to sunny ones, which is why I think I belong in an entirely different climate than this one.

I'm so nuts I actually thought that the week had spun around and was repeating itself and that Beau had tomorrow off a second time, as if it were Columbus Day (or better yet, First Nations day), all over again. Weirdness. I was so looking forward to spending the night at Scott's tonight and playing hooky tomorrow. I wanted to sleep in, play with Tom Kitten who I am going to take with me, watch some TV, visit the furniture thrift shop, see a movie, and go to The Farm and let the goats, llamas, elder horseys and sheep drool all over me, but alas this is not to be because instead I've got to go to the bank, get Beau to and from school, rush some photos off to Kinkos in the hope that they can make color copies from transparencies so the appraiser won't have to photograph the house while we shoo the cats out of the shots, then I have to be here for the appraiser, oh and get Mom to give me a check for me to give to him since it's her loan., bleh and more bleh. So much for my escape fantasy, well, at least I can play with my Scotty tonight, and he says his Jacuzzi is working and you know what that means ; )

My ex is here with my son playing in his room. They ganged up on me to talk me into it, which was super uncool of them. Beau went out for a rare outing with his Father this morning -- he sees him no more than six or seven times a year at the most -- and when they came back they stood at the security gate together while Beau paged me and asked if Robby could come in with him.

How could I say no with Rob standing right there next to him, and how could I go over the various security issues I have with Robby with Beau standing right there next to him? So uncool. I guess I could have just said no and then cleaned it up with both of them separately but Beau seemed so happy and hopeful and I do want him to see his father so I was forced to say, "Okay but Rob you have to promise never to use anything you see here against us at some future time. I don't want you looking at things and calling me later saying you want them and I don't want to be criticized in any way for anything, not the numbers of pets, not Beau's messy room, nothing. Can you agree to that?" He said, "What's changed since the last time I was here?" Argh, whatever, so here they are playing in Beau's room, and Beau is begging me for a memory upgrade and/or an external hard drive so he can keep playing his beloved Star Wars game but I don't have the money. I asked Robby but of course he said no. He's never given me any money for Beau, not one dollar in the six years he's been gone, six or more, I can't remember, not one dollar. Can you imagine?

Anna is being sweet but slow and well meaning, but as usual unable to understand me. I don't care at this point, I am just grateful to have her help for as long as my Mother will let me have it.

I actually got a good night's sleep, (chemically induced mind you, because I was desperate so I worked that Ambien), last night. I am such a different person when I get sleep. I mean just look at how angry my posts are when I'm sleep deprived, angry or honest, I don't know which, and I'm not entirely sure if this is a bad thing.

Okay well, as usual I have to get going, and I had hoped to have a long leisurely visit with my Friend's List, damnit. Oh well. I'm off to visit my Scottman, we are going to have Thai food for dinner, then go see a movie and come back for a loving swim. Wish me luck, I never know if my energy will hold out.

Love Youze,

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