I just spent hours organizing, cleaning the house, and packing up the car. I hate packing so I always put it off as long as possible. I have to make deals with myself -- offer myself rewards to get motivated. I began by forcing myself get up. I had stayed up late as usual and am so tired. I had some breakfast, took all of my vitamins and medications and began reading my exciting new book about the hidden, lotus shaped land, deep in the Himalayan Mountains. It was such a delicious read, travel, exotic locale, adventure, ancient tales of a mystic land shrouded in mists, protected on all sides by dangerous snow covered mountains, at it's heart a fabled waterfall, a waterfall rumoured to be as big as Niagara that leads to a magic land, a land that may only exist in the mind's eye.
I began my day sweetly, reading, then packing, appreciating nature, admiring the tall palm trees in front of our house, the fruit covered trees, and the crisp air -- thinking that if I had enough time I might take some more photos for you. When I'd done more work than my back could withstand I woke up Beau and came back to my bedroom where I had promised myself I could enjoy adding the fringe to my scarf while watching a little television and then editing some photos and checking in on my journal.
When I turned on the TV it just happened to be on a sports channel where the host was describing the murder of thousands of greyhounds who are routinely slaughtered by the greyhound racing industry. The first thing I saw was a greyhound being murdered with a shot by a doctor; close-up on the dogs arm and the injection with the liquid being slowly shot into him, then the dogs head collapsing on the table. I can't handle these things, I really can't. I started screaming at the TV, "Fuck You, Fuck YOU!!!"
Then the next thing we see is a stupid fucking hick farmer asshole describing how he murdered over three thousand greyhounds for breeders who no longer wanted them for ten dollars a piece. "I dig a hole. I stand the dog next to it. I grab him by the collar, put the shotgun over my arm like this, then boom, shoot him in the head and he falls over in the hole." Then they showed photographs of the exhumed remains of these poor dogs.
Next up a secret video taken of a vet clinic. An animal truck pulls up; two evil men pull beautiful, healthy looking greyhounds out of the various compartments of this truck take them out back behind a building and within three minutes bring them back dead. One by one they carry their limp bodies back out to where we can see them and dump them on top of each other in a dumpster, and this is all perfectly legal. How is it that I am living in such cruel and barbaric times? And how is it that inevitably someone will tell me that the suffering of these animals is something I should ignore in favor of the greater suffering of humans in war torn, famine ravaged, disease ridden countries or here at home? Why do we have to differentiate between our species and another inevitably thinking our own is superior, our own suffering is greater? All I care about is whether they can feel, and animals can feel, bugs can feel, plants can feel. We have to be compassionate beings! We have to tread lovingly on this planet! We just have to!!
I find ignorance and cruelty on this scale repugnant. I find people like this repugnant and yet I know if I met them one on one without knowing what they do for a living I would find things to love about them. I hate them and I know I must forgive them, but I'd like to beat the shit out of them first, then see them traded for all of the people we have locked up in jails whose only crime was growing, selling, or smoking weed.
I am so pissed off and hurting right now. I feel so impotent and useless. I don't have room for another animal, especially not another dog. Even as it is people are so stupid and cruel they report me and put all of my animals at risk of being seized and murdered. I never know where the next threat will come from, or when it will come. I live in fear because I choose to rescue and love animals. How can it be that my tax dollars go to support legislators and organizations that think it is better to kill an animal, better to murder them, than allow people like me to spend almost all of their money and give all of their time to their care?