I'm sitting here on a rainy Sunday in LA with my favorite cat Jake by my side, listening to sweet Summer (another beloved kitty -- a tortoise colored Devon Rex) snuffle around my things. She has chronic asthma so you can always hear her comings and goings. Malibu is here as well, ope, spoke to soon, he's gone again.
I have a vague sense of this being Super Bowl Sunday but I don't watch football so I can't tell you whether the game already happened, if it's halftime now, or if it happens later. The only reason I know it's Super Bowl Sunday is because everyone's been talking about poor Janet Jackson's silly nipple baring accident, and there were really cute bakery items at both of the markets I go to.
I just sent Anna off to buy some football shaped, cake/cupcake platters, and veggies and dip, for me to take around to friend's houses today. I honestly don't know if she's up to this, she might end up in Long Beach for all I know -- her sense of direction and her communication skills are that bad. I should have taken care of this myself when I was at the market yesterday but I was buying so much already, making sure I had every last little thing that Beau would want, because he had complained that Anna had eaten everything he liked, that I just didn't have the energy to worry about what I needed to take with me today.
Anna has already set my overstimulted, frayed, nerve endings on fire and she's only been here a few hours. Her week starts on Sunday and no matter what I do to ensure that Esther takes care of every last little thing, that prissy, fiery Anna will get pissed off about, there will always be something left undone that I will have to hear about. For the last couple of weeks her bone has been laundry. I made sure to remind Esther twice to get Beau's laundry done so I wouldn't have to have another Sunday ruined listening to Anna's insane ramblings but Beau didn't gather up and take down his dirty clothes until late yesterday just before Esther was leaving. Still, she stayed late enough to sort it out and get it washed. Anna is freaking because it isn't dried and folded and there is nothing I can say to calm her down. The world is against her, Esther is doing this to her on purpose and that's all there is to it.
One of the things that I hate the most about her is how she will complain about something and then not give you the courtesy of listening to your response or explanations. She just overrides me -- interrupts me with a stream of words that she is just saying to herself and I honestly cannot break through and get heard, she's that stubborn. Today she was so rude I just couldn't take it. I got really angry with her and she didn't even notice, or doesn't care. Something is seriously wrong with her ability to reason, she'll get pissed about something and then go off talking to herself for hours about it. Yatter, yatter, yatter, complain, complain, complain, whine, bitch, insult, complain, and there's nothing you can do to shut her up.
I'm sorry to go off on this, I don't need advice, really, I just need to vent. If I had someone better to replace her with, and if I could give her tons of notice, or had enough money to give her enough severance to assuage my guilt, I would let her go in a heartbeat, but I need her and I don't want to hurt her.
Hey she's back -- see sometimes she gets things really right. I just never know when this is going to be, and I know for certain that I won't be able to get along with her for too much longer. I don't know how we've lasted this long, as resentful, feisty, tight fisted and stubborn as she is. I could also list all of my own flaws here as well, but I'm tired and I think I do it enough that I don't really need to -- just want you to know that I'm always mindful of my own many failings when I'm ripping in to someone else. Plus she has many good qualities as well, I just don't feeling like listing them just now when I'm feeling upset.
As usual I'm full of plans and wish I could do ten thousand things today, but I barely have the energy to attend the two, super light, social obligations I have. I don't know why, but my little grey/black, curly-coated, Curly Girl cat chose to climb up onto me when I was sleeping last night and puked onto my face and shoulders, not once but twice last night, waking me up with a great shock, and forcing me to wash and change my clothes and bedding two separate times. Poor Jake got covered with barf the second time around and was sitting on my bed trying to figure out how he was going to groom it all off when I rescued him with a couple of towels.
The first time was shocking, but the second was just over the top, weird, icky and baffling. I mean when you live with a zooful of cats you learn to expect and accept these kinds of things, but not twice in once night. I think I'm kind of like a big mama cat to a lot of the kitties and Curly Girl was seeking comfort and warmth by climbing up onto me, but why she would stand up and aim at my face is beyond me. The second time was the worst though because I had already gotten up, made sure she was okay, then stripped off my clothes, and the pillows, sheets, and blanket, cleaned off, remade the bed, and then finally went back to sleep. I was curled up, warm and comfortable, deep asleep with Jake and a fresh blanket when she got sick again, but this time she kind of leaned in more and filled up my ear. Oh man, grossness. Needless to say, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. As I write this she's sitting on my lap purring away and grooming Triple B. I'll watch her today and take her to the vet tomorrow.
I have to get dressed soon because I have to go get Atra and then take her to my neighbor Nancy's house. Nancy has kindly organized a long overdue block party, which is something that, as block captain, I should have done long ago, so I'm feeling a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. I just can't really have big neighborhood parties here with all of the pets. I love Nancy and admire her so much. She's just the kind of person I'd like to be if I ever grow up. Really, you'd love her, she gave up everything she had to start one of the leading children's charities, The Starlight Children's Foundation, a foundation that grants wishes to terminally ill children and works to improve their lives and the lives of their families in every way possible -- now tell me what is not to admire about a person like this.
I'm going to stop by Atra's house first to visit her Mom Ghodsi's old friend's Jane and Gus, who flew from Omaha to visit her. They come out once a year to visit and have been friends since Ghodsi's children, my friend's Atra, Arta and Maryam, were small. Gus had some kind of job in Iran and they lived there, renting their place from Atra's family, and that's how they all became close. During the terrifying pre-revolution days, most foreigners fled and naturally they did as well, but they were sad because they loved Tehran, and they've kept in touch all these years.
Beau just came in and asked me if I could tell him when the Superbowl will be on. Ha, and here I was just writing about how I didn't have a clue when it was. I had to look it up for him in the guide so now I'm kind of tuned in to it a bit more. Three o'clock -- superbowl -- hoo.
I have the pre-game show on now because Beau left it on this channel -- this kind of thing makes my heart ache for my Father, makes me tear up and feel that deep sadness that sits on my chest and makes me question whether I will ever see him again -- ever see that smirk, hear him laugh or tell a joke. He was the embodiment of all things football, all things sport like and traditionally masculine in our home, and I miss him so. I just miss him so Goddamned much. When I comfort friends and strangers who have lost a loved one, I always tell them that I am certain they will see their loved ones again someday. I feel certain of this for other people, but then, in these brief sad hiccups of grief, I have my doubts, but it doesn't last for long, and then I regain my faith.
I think it is so sweet that Beau likes football and that he wants to watch the Superbowl today. I love when he does things that are kind of traditionally masculine, things that I haven't bothered to help him get interested in, and that come from someplace entirely of his own. I sometimes worry that having only one parent involved in his life might mean that he won't be getting enough masculine influence but he manages to gravitate towards it all on his own and it's a relief to me.
I'm supposed to go sing with Scott in the studio again this week. He let me get out of yesterday's session because I'm fighting a virus and have a sore throat that I may have caught from him, but there's no getting out of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday's sessions. I may actually rent a car just so I'll be able to travel back and forth between our houses while leaving Anna with the car here for any emergencies.
Okay, as Simon Cowell would say, off I go...
Nope, I'm back, I goofed up, Nancy's party is next weekend, argh, you try living in this head of mine, waaaaaaaaaaa...