You asked for pictures of our doggies so I've been trying to take some for you. The puppy and Alley won't sit still for anything and every single shot I've taken of them are blurry, but here's Lulu, our Boston Terrier, in my car on the way to the dog park. Alley and Flora were there too but you can't see them.
My Dear Darling Readers,
Oh it's such a relief to be done with the night's singing, to have made love, and made it to the end of another day. It feels so good to face my fear and push through the twisted tortured paths of it.
I'm at Scott's. He's sleeping now and I'm trying to stay awake and focused long enough to get a word out to you. We'll be recording all of the remaining backing vocals for his CD tomorrow night and Wednesday. We got through one song, Vagabond, and made a good start on another, White Mon, which is a cool reggae tune.
Thank you so much for all of your support in this. It's been a pretty complicated creative and emotional phase for me to have to kind of ride out. I'm just trusting in God in this and staying attentive to all of the many lessons there are to be learned in all of this.
Scott has been as supportive as he could possibly be. I mean what more could he do to make this up to me? He's put everything and everyone on hold to take the time to work with me, and I am definitely slower and harder to work with than anyone he could have hired. I've definitely had to take my ego down a few pegs here and I think it's been good for me. I spend way too much time creating in my mind as opposed to putting myself out there and living so it's good to grow, good to be challenged and given the opportunity to learn. I hope this hasn't all been too vague, I'm tired and I don't know if I'm making any sense here or not. I just wanted to update you and thank you for your unflagging love and kindness.
I was surprised recently when I asked if everyone who had sent anything to me over the holidays had received cards in return, and several people mentioned that they hadn't. As spaced out and disorganized as I can be, (despite my best intentions), I actually thought I had done pretty well here and was really hoping I hadn't missed anyone. Well, it turns out that I had missed a batch of cards that came in after Christmas. I'm so sorry.
My PO Box company moved and there was a mix up with some of the box numbers. Anyway I finally got all of my lost mail today and I was so surprised to see that there were more cards and gifts. Thank you all so much. I'll come round and thank you tomorrow and send cards out as soon as I can. I think I brought them with me, but I rented a car in order to stay here for a few days, and I may have left the last of my holiday collages in my Ford at home.
I solved the travel, traffic, and sleep problem that I was bound to face when I agreed to work in the studio with Scott and Mark, for three nights in a row, by renting a car. Anna and I went to the car rental place today and since it was only a few dollars more to rent a convertible I got one.
I've never driven a convertible before and was very surprised when, mere minutes after driving off the lot, two men in a sports car were hitting on me. Never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings I tried everything I could think of to dissuade them, but this one guy had a come back for everything I could come up with. At half my age he was quick with the "Forty is the new thirty," when I said, "But I'm too old for you, I'm probably twice your age." I wonder if they drive around looking for lonely older women or if there is something sexy about a woman in a convertible. Honestly the whole thing leaves me feeling baffled, and a little flattered. They actually followed me through heavy LA traffic for blocks trying to get my number before finally giving up saying, "Oh I see how it is, you just don't like us," and then rolling up their window.
I'm not used to this kind of thing. I've been hiding beneath my weight for so long that I truly don't know how to deal with this kind of thing. Now that I'm smaller and I've dyed my hair blonde, unfair thought it may be, I've been attracting more attention and am being forced to grow up fast. Unlike most women I know I used to enjoy men coming on to me, so the odd wolf whistle from a construction worker, or some rude, "Chicky, chicky, chicky, mamamaaaa," from a gardener was like manna to me.
I'm really looking forward to Valentine's Day. I'm such a holiday girl. I just love them. Anything that brings people together in a loving way, and gives us an excuse to shop, or make crafty heart shaped things with glitter, has got to be a good thing as far as I'm concerned.
Do you remember those little cubes that held a couple of tiny fish, a plant, and maybe a snail or ten? They were these little, supposedly self contained biocubes with a hole in the top that you would stick a toothpick, with a couple of flakes of fish food in, and they came with instructions that said, basically, "Don't do anything, these fish will live for about a year, as that is their natural lifecycle." Well, pardon me, if I call bullshit here, I gave Scott one of these little cubes something like SIX YEARS AGO, and his little fish is still going strong. All of ours died -- Beau's and mine -- but this little guy is like the Eveready Bunny of fish, he just keeps going and going... Scott gets heaps of my respect for this, he's obviously been doing something right by this fishy.
I'm fading, or I've faded, and I want to get some sleep. I keep telling myself I'm going to spend some time going through as many entries, responding to all of the comments, and visiting all of the journals of anyone who has commented, as I can, but time just keeps sweeping my good intentions out from under me.
I love you guys,
PS: Seraphimgrist asked for recommendations for books to read during Lent and I really enjoyed exploring this topic. I felt at home there, thinking about Lent. In my effort to make everyone feel comfortable and included I tend to leave off talking about my first religion, what I like to think of as my spiritual home base, that Catholic center where I feel this deep kind of spiritual comfort. I just think that most religions lead to the same place, so as long as they're all about love and kindness and a connection to something greater than oneself, we're really all the same because at the heart of it we're all seeking the same thing. The sacraments, the traditions, the details haven't meant as much to me as they once did, but there is a familiar comfort in some of these rituals that I have lost by trying to embrace everything.
PPS: I head Scott moving around in his bedroom so I went in and wrapped myself around him for a little bit. He has to get up early to go to work and I'm used to staying up all night and sleeping in -- his arm smelled like candy : )