I love Plucky Fluff's yarn so much I want to bury my face in it and take great big bites out of it. I'm dying to knit right now. I want to make wild, crazy, fun things but I never seem to have the time. I'm either out doing things, or laying around here trying to recuperate from doing things. It seems like I am always doing something for someone else, (animals included), and I need to make some time for me before I go nuts. I haven't even looked through my e-mail or listened to the many messages on my service in days.
I spent all day today driving two rude, aggressive, selfish teenagers around. They're not really all that bad, I mean I understand where they're coming from, but it's just hard being surrounded by that hormonal boy/man energy all day and night, blech. They are so all about ass humour, rebelling, and sex, not deep, rich, powerful sex, it's more like really basic physical stuff without any of the love or passion. They wouldn't know what to do with a real woman if she walked up and offered herself to them. They've even asked me to buy them pocket pussy's. I know this is all normal and natural and I am the last person to judge or shame anyone when it comes to sexuality. I'm just really tired of it. Tired of watching them punch and put each other down. I need a break, and as luck would have it, even though I feel a little torn and wistful about it, Phil is flying home tomorrow and I'll have my all important privacy back again. I didn't really get what a loner I was until I had a teenage guest here for ten days, yikes.
I almost made it to mass this afternoon. I even talked the kids in to going but we just didn't make it back in time. I think I'll go tomorrow. I haven't gone in a couple of years, I think. I'll usually drop in once a year around Christmas time or to say thanks if anything miraculous has happened, like when my Mother was cured of lung cancer. Just because I'm sentimentally attached to my first religion, (and what Catholic doesn't hold just the smallest bit of affection in her heart for the Pope), I wanted to stop by and pay my respects to a good man who while I may not have agreed with everything he ruled on, (because he was super conservative), and who scared me a little sometimes, had a great big tremendous heart and did do a lot of good for a lot of people.
I bought two books about him today and am enjoying reading about his life. I didn't remember that he believed that a religious medal he had been wearing stopped a bullet from entering his heart during the attempt on his life. I didn't know that he loved the theatre and formed an acting troupe that put on plays that attacked Nazism. I'll always regret the lost opportunity that Robby and I had to meet him. My Godfather was the United States Ambassador to the Vatican during the Reagan era and he arranged for us to meet Pope John Paul II on our honeymoon in Italy, but something happened, he was called away or was ill, and the Vatican sent a note to our pensione apologizing. So many lost opportunities...
If I am going to pray for anything it'll be for a Pope who will allow women to play an equal role in the Church, and support their equal position in the home, and in the workplace, for priests and nuns to be allowed to marry so that there won't be all of this weird repressed sexuality and molestation going on, for the acceptance of birth control by almost any means other than the fallible rhythm method, for the use of condoms to prevent the spread of disease, for a more positive and healthy approach to sexuality, specifically masturbation, and sex that is just for pleasure and love, and not solely for procreation, and for a more modern, accountable, forgiving, and open church. I want to see windows thrown open and light let in. I want an end to secrecy. So these will be the things I'll be praying for. Anyone wanna join me?