You Are 50% Normal
While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself
This illustration is so me, a weeping blonde woman holding a kitty, heh.
I just can't get myself to go to sleep. I cleaned out my purse, wrote back to my $!$+#& and an old friend, got some more messages off of my answering machine, wiped some shows off of my DVR, cleaned cat boxes, cleaned kitten bottoms, cuddled kittens, gave medicines to kittens, and now I'm watching a stupid woman pissing off a cop on COPS. Man, people can be stupid when they're dealing with the police. You should see this woman -- she's making everything so much worse for herself, why?
Man, if I get pulled over for anything, I just roll right over like a puppy. When it comes to the cops I have completely lost my asshole reflex. And this is coming from someone who once outran the cops because I was driving a car full of my friends -- we were passing a joint around, and I was worried about what my parents would think if I got busted.
Oh I get it, this is a special episode called Bad Girls. Huh, Bad Girls, this reminds me of Tom Leykis. I put him on for a few minutes this afternoon so Scott could hear what a complete asshat he is. And to think I used to love listening to him way back when. I was so happy to stumble onto him on this FM talk channel until I realized that he's all about female bashing now. I was telling my pal Ana the other night that he actually called women sperminals, as opposed to urinals, and said that all we're good for is a place to leave sperm. My God he's gotten so mean and abusive, so misogynistic, it's off-the-charts shocking, which is of course the reason why he's doing this, it gets ratings. The problem is that what he says, even though he may not even mean it, has the power to influence people, and it's just so awful, the kind of things he says, and the way he's fanning the flames of hatred towards women. I can't listen to it because it upsets me so much.
Did I tell you we found a bunch of twenty dollar bills fluttering around in front of my house the other day? They were in the gutter, tangled up in our rose bushes, and blowing down the street -- ten of them, two-hundred-dollars worth. I was sure they must have been Beau's, or Anna's, or maybe even mine, but they weren't. Beau and I drove around looking for anyone who might have been walking by who could have lost this money, but we didn't see anyone. I went to all of the nearby bus stops because I was worried that one of the neighborhood housekeepers might have lost her money. In the end I just divvied up the money and gave it to Beau and Anna because they are always needing money. I'm hoping it just fell out of some wealthy macho dude's jogging shorts...
Oh great, now there's a show on about miserable, hurting, lonely, abstinent, abandoned, divorced women. That's it for me, I'm going to take an Ambien and knock myself out for eight hours.
Is Tom Cruise really with Katie Holmes? Is Brad with Angelina. Is up down? What is going on lately?
Night night my pals,