I've been worrying so much about money lately and then just yesterday I discovered that a friend of Beau's has Beau's password to his iTunes account and has been downloading music at my expense for months, small amounts that have added up to a lot over time. Each time that he has downloaded music it's been charged to the account I have linked to my bank account. Terrific.
These charges are never more than around twenty dollars at a time, some of them are only a couple of dollars, but they are a big part of the reason why my account hasn't been balancing. This last month, after our trip to Burning Man, I barely limped home with enough money to pay for gas and food, so when he ordered these songs he seriously overdrew my account, and I now have over a thousand dollars worth of overdraft charges. Now I have to report this to the bank and iTunes, and somehow manage to figure out which music I downloaded and gave Beau permission to download, so we know which music we want to report as having been stolen, while somehow managing to keep the rest. I swear it never ends.
I'm online now with register.com, trying to understand another questionable series of charges, waiting in a queue for a "consultant" to tell me what these charges are that I didn't make because I wasn't even here at the time when they were made, and I don't have the auto-renew option thing set.
I know this all seems so petty and small compared with floods and fires but I have got to protect the little money I have if we're going to get through this next month. Money, it's so scary and overwhelmingly upsetting sometimes, esp. in my weird situation. As Beau gets older his expenses have been increasing and of course his Father, who has never contributed anything, and wants to treat Beau like a pal rather than a son, isn't going to want to help, and I don't want to drag him to court.
My Mother's secretary, the one who I have tried to communicate with, who means well but never really listens to or understands me because she's too full of her own opinions, (her anxiety levels are so high she is always threatening to quit and often has to run outside for a cigarette, and of course she just doesn't get the whole animal rescue thing and thinks I should just let them all go in the hills or something), who does most of the talking, makes big hurtful blanket decisions that completely derail me, or is often drunk when she calls me at night to talk about finances, called and left a message saying she wants me to meet her at my Mother's tomorrow to discuss some things. Crappo.
I was all set for a phone interview tonight at 7:30 with Margot, who does all of the press for American Cinematheque and the Egyptian Theatre, and is handling the press for our fashion show, but something came up and she had to reschedule it for another time. This is actually a relief in a way because I've been feeling bad about having missed our last appointment.
I was really anxious about the whole thing, which just doesn't make sense considering how wildly outgoing I used to be, and am capable of being. I love doing interviews and of course I'm mad about my family history so you'd think this would be a breeze for me, but it isn't. I was so nervous about getting all of facts right that I called my Mom an hour before the appointment to do a kind of practice interview with her. I wrote six pages of family history down and am really glad I got the chance to do this. If you haven't done this with your own parents and grandparents, please do yourself a favor and do this, because you never know when you may lose them and all of this history, that may not mean that much to you now, will go with them.
My Grandparent's and Parent's history and stories are fascinating to me. They were such interesting people, pioneers really, and they lived such fabulous and glamorous lives. I'm proud of what they accomplished and often feel small in their shadows.
I had all kinds of plans today, errandy sorts of plans, but I made the mistake of taking our Boston Terrier, Lulu, with me. I thought it would be nice for her to have an outing that would be just for her. Normally she has to do everything with Flora Bella, our naughty little Jack Russell Terrier, who Beau calls Scrappers, and I just wanted to take her today instead of both of them.
This was a huge mistake because it was way too hot for her. I didn't know that Boston Terriers, or any dogs with that smushed in puggy face, have a harder time in the heat than other dogs. It's harder for them to breathe in general so when it's hot I guess it's even worse for them. With all my animal experience and expertise, I can't believe I didn't know this.
When I got to the bank I walked around the car to get Lulu's leash but Ana had taken it out of the car and brought it into the house, so I couldn't take Lulu with me into the bank. It was four o'clock and I parked in the shade and rolled the windows down as far as I could without risking her jumping out. I thought she'd be fine. I went to the bank, fought over the overdraft charges and gave up, and then came back out to the car.
When I got to the car Lulu was totally overheated. Her tongue was hanging out, she was panting and making these scary asthmatic sounds, and she felt hot to the touch. I grabbed her and the two water bottles that were sitting on the seat and ran her over to this planted area where I quickly gave her water, that she didn't really seem to want to drink, then I poured some in her mouth but she only swallowed a little of this, so then I poured all the rest of it all over her body to cool her off. I kept thinking she'd bounce back but she was making so much noise and kept laying down and a couple of women came over to help me. I was afraid to put her back in the car to rush her over to the vet because my air conditioner isn't working and it was the car that made her sick in the first place.
It was really scary, and I was so upset; most importantly because Lulu was acting so weird and I was so worried about her, but also because I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid -- one of those horrible people who leave their kids or pets in the car. I just really didn't realize how hot it was and that her doggy breed is more susceptible to heat stroke than others. I had thought that if it wasn't too hot for me in the car then surely it would be all right for her, wrong.
After she started breathing better I grabbed her, soaking my clothes in all of the doggy water, put her on my lap in the car, rolled down the windows, turned up the barely functioning air conditioning and sped for the vet. Within minutes she returned to normal and was fine, but I wanted to be sure. By the time I got to the vet she was completely fine, but I had been carrying around a cheque I'd been meaning to give them so I went in anyway. I saw my friend, our vet, Gary, and he told me that he's leaving to start his own practice. Damn.
Sometimes when I can't sleep, and Coast to Coast AM, (the radio show I usually listen to at night), is boring, too scary, or negative, I'll tune in to Howard Stern and listen -- unless and until he says something seriously offensive or upsetting, then I'll get mad and turn it off. Most of the time I find him kind of childlike and funny and I really enjoy laughing myself to sleep.
I've managed to get past hating him for being such a sexist idiot boy and I'll just tune in to listen to him being funny, making prank phone calls, Robin doing the news, or some of the other regulars he has on who are so funny. If you've been following the whole Sirius satellite thing you'll know he's leaving regular radio soon in order to start up his own group of channels over on Sirius where he will have unlimited freedom to say and do whatever he pleases. He can't move his show over until his contract with Clear Channel runs out in December or January, I think, but his new channels on Sirius are now ready to go, he can put any programming on there that he'd like, and people are waiting to see what he's got planned.
Well, it turns out he doesn't have anything planned, or ready to go yet, and he was talking about this on the air this morning when a caller suggested he just play a tape of people farting all day. Then Artie took it one step further by suggesting they bring back all of their old instant farters (who had been put out of business by FCC regulations) who could do live on-air farting; just a host with a chair and a mic who would do nothing other than fart into it twenty-four-seven. Suddenly this all seemed like a super good idea so there was this flurry of activity with everyone making phone calls and suggestions and the last I heard he had lined up enough DJs to cover all of the time slots. From what I understand all they're going to do, until Howard comes up with something else, is sit in the studio farting into the mic whenever they can. They even have a woman who is going to do queefs -- vagina sounds. My Sirius radio is in my car and it isn't one of the portable ones or I swear I'd tune in tomorrow just to hear this.
Beau just came in to ask me if I could smell something burning. We opened the windows and it reeks of smoke. I'm super allergic to smoke so I guess this explains why I've got a headache, my sinuses are upset, and my eyes are so dry. Can this be from the wild fires? I saw the clouds of smoke hanging in the sky tonight but I thought we were far enough way that we wouldn't be able to smell this. Poor, poor people and animals.
Oh there you go, I just turned the TV on, and the LA County Health Department has issued a smoke advisory/health alert saying that the smoke, gas, and small particles can be harmful to your health. Okay, so I'm not nuts. I'm gonna go close all of the windows...
I called my friend Ron today to ask him to come over and help us out with some computer troubles we're having and he said he had to head home because the fires were only about fifty houses away from his. I've been praying for him and for all of his neighbors. I so hope he'll be okay. Man, it just seems like one natural disaster after another. All we need now is an earthquake, don't worry, I'm knocking on wood.
Oh and I just got a letter from a Rosicrucian Order in San Jose asking me if I'd be interested in studying teachings that date back to the Mystery Schools of Ancient Egypt. You know what? I would.
I'll leave you with a link to something beautiful you may have already read about. I'm reading this little book called The Hidden Messages In Water by Masaru Emotu. It's about how we are all made of water and how words and music affect the shape of water when frozen into crystalline shapes. It's so interesting. I love this man.