Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Hello My Beloved Friends,

I've owed you an entry for so long. I have so many stories to share, soooo many. I've been writing, but I haven't felt well enough to edit and share them. I'll get around to this soon if only for my sake so I can look back and remember what was happening in my life at this point in time.

My beloved Jakey-Cat didn't make it. I wrote an entry about it but haven't put it up yet. It's hard to talk about and I'd actually rather not, if that's okay. It's been two weeks and he was ill for so long before this that I've had some time to adjust and am doing okay. But then this is how I grieve, I go kind of numb when it becomes too much for me to handle, and then it bubbles back up in bursts when I least expect it. Thank you as always for all of your love and support.

I adopted two new cats and while neither one of them will ever take Jake's place, I will come to love them just as much, and having them here makes the loss easier to bear.

We obviously aren't going to make it to Burning Man this year, which is so disappointing, because both Beau and I spend all year looking forward to it. It really is home to us. I've said this before but if I could change my city of residency on my drivers license to read Black Rock City, I swear I would. As it is I've got this on the plaque around my license plate, a laminated ID card that says I'm a Black Rock Citizen in my wallet, and a little passport as well, so these will have to do until I can one day find some way to create a world like this for us to live in that will be more permanent.

I can't go because I haven't recovered sufficiently from my accident to be able to go safely. All of my doctors have said, basically, "No Fucking way!" And this is because I'm recovering from a concussion, some brain swelling, headaches, dizziness, weird cognitive stuff, (much more about this later), neck and back pain, and a new injury to my foot that required a visit to the ER. I've had two MRIs several X-rays of my neck and spine, and it turns out that I have "an aggressive case of scoliosis," and a seriously messed up neck to add my growing list of physical ailments, weeeee. Oh whatever, it's just life, you know what I mean?

As you can see, unfortunately, I'm in no shape to pack up a thirty foot RV with all of the many things we would need to survive out there at Black Rock, and then drive the darned thing from LA to Reno, Gerlach, and beyond. This is a huge loss for us, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, everything, so even though I am sad and have been doing a wee bit of crying as I read all of the excited chatter back and forth between my friends on the various Burning Man lists we belong to, and take call after call from people begging me to go, I'm feeling settled about the decision.

I think you all know what an eBay addict I am, so just to lighten up the mood a little here, and before my back starts to yell at me for sitting up here for too long, I thought I'd show you a couple of things I liked.

Sorry the image is so big. My laptop was wrecked in my car accident and I still haven't installed all of my photo editing programs on the new laptop yet. There's never an end to the small annoying things we have to do in a day is there?

Here is a super cool customized Blythe darling who I bought with a very specific purpose in mind, but am not going to be able to use until next year. I was actually going to use two dolls that were being custom made by a wonderful new friend, who is my favorite Blythe Doll artist, but because of my accident and the resulting extra brain fogginess, I blew my opportunity to meet up with her when she was recently here in LA, and I ended up buying this lovely doll as an emergency back up -- just in case we couldn't work things out through the mail in time. But that's all moot now since this whole exciting project is going to have to wait another year, darn it! Anyway, she's great all in her own right, and I wanted to share her with you. Her name is Charlie and she was customized by richardw773 on eBay in case you'd like to keep an eye out for his or her work.

And this is an auction for artificial prosthetic eyeballs that has fifteen hours to go but that I am not going to be able to afford to bid on because it is way too expensive. The doll was already way over the top, budget wise, but I was desperate to have one that would be the right fit for this photo art project, so I just went ahead and ate the cost. These eyeballs are just something I like to collect, I don't even know why, can't explain it at all, but I think they are the coolest thing; artificial human eyes, especially the older ones, they're just amazing. Every once in a while I'll buy one of these, but this is an auction for a whole box of them, wow!

Now, when you think about how many bills I have, and how much money I should be saving to pay those bills, it becomes very clear why I wasn't about to spend one-hundred-and-seventy-one dollars and fifty-six cents on a box of vintage eyeballs, but it was fun to fantasize about buying them, and all the cool creative things I could procrastinate about doing with them ; )

I have so much more I want to say, so much more I'd like to share with you, but I've reached my sit-up-straight-and-type without needing to reach for a pain pill, limit, and will have to sign off here. I'll leave you with this flower quiz that I found on a fellow cat lovers journal tonight.

Big loving hugs from your absent and absent minded pal,

I am a

What Flower
Are You?


  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded