Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

Halloweening Towards The Finish Line

Hi Everyone,

Been busy as usual getting our house and yard in shape for our annual yard haunt. I've had less help this year than ever so I'm way behind. Beau has announced that he hates Halloween. I am going to pretend I didn't hear this, fingers in my ears, la, la, la. I mean, come on, telling your Mom that you hate Halloween when she's the wackiest Halloweening Mom in the entire neighborhood is a little like telling, well, it's so upsetting that for once I can't even come up with an analogy. And, yes, yes, I know, "He's entitled to his feelings," but this just hurts. Hates Halloween? My son? Figures. A teenager's gotta find something to rebel against right? Never mind that he gets to invite all of his friends over and they have fun eating all of the food, playing in the yard, roaming the neighborhood, playing video games, watching spooky movies, and going home with bags of candy. I can't count the number of times I've heard kids say, "Wow, you're so lucky. I wish my Mom was like yours." He just rolls his eyes.

Friday I tacked all of the giant ants to the side of the house, and put one in the claws of a giant bat to make it look like she was making off with a poor helpless anty treat. I spread all of the hay everywhere, including across the sidewalk, good luck rolling your strollers across that. I moved some of the bales around to make a seat and a place to prop tombstones. I opened tons of electronic things and put in fresh batteries and kept opening orange and black plastic storage boxes of stuff.

Yesterday I dragged the naked mannequins out and stashed them on the side of the house because until they're dressed there's just something a tad creepy -- creepy in a weird non-Halloweeny way -- about the mix of spooky childlike holiday merry making, and then six or seven naked mannequins lurking about, that gives me the yeeeeeeze. You never know who might have had been having sex with these plaster folk, Ana ; ) Tomorrow I'll start sorting out their costumes and masks. I especially need to get my devil baby's nanny set up because right now the only person minding her in her spooky black pram is our big plaster cow Bessie. I put a big rubber spider on her head to try to make her look at least a little spooky. We usually just tie an orange and black bow around her neck.

Today I moved the plaster bucket trees we made around. I keep adding black spray paint to their limbs and leaves to make them appear spookier. I hung a bat from one of them and some mini skeletons from the other. ("Bless you," says Jacqui to the curly black haired kitty sitting on the pillow behind her head). I raked up piles and piles of leaves and added them to the hay mix. I like to pile the leaves in front of the tombs because it looks a little like newly dig graves, or at least I like to think it does. I kind of doubt there are too many graveyards that look like this, but no matter. I added the shrunken heads to the entry gate, zip tied our crumbling skeleton man to the large white chair and put on his star covered black net cape, zip tied two rats to the fence, and the kitty who sings and dances. I hung a zombie, scattered some plastic bones about, put old and new art on our bulletin board and in the church announcement case. I started to hook up the black lights and flaming cauldrons and I can't remember what all else I did. I'm getting kind of sick of it and it makes me angry that no matter how often I make this resolution; I will set up Halloween early, it never gets done. Oh well...

Tomorrow Concha and Esther are coming to help, yeay. Beau has promised to help as well, but we'll see... We have to find the huge wall sized monsters, get the extension ladder and staple them to the second story of our house, dress all of the mannequins, position the tombs in the driveway graveyard, and get started connecting all of the electronics. I have to go to Smart and Final and buy out all of their candy and several dozen cases of cat litter. Guess which we're giving to the kids?

Wouldn't they just love that, little plastic treat bags filled with cat litter? It'd be better than those black toothbrushes that Martha Stewart sold in her catalogue one Halloween. Anything has got to be better than a toothbrush for Halloween. A pickle would be better than that. "Sorry kids, we ran out of candy, but we've got plenty of spicy dill pickles, want some?"

Here are two great links for searching for local Halloween haunts;

GooGhoul -- get it?


I am really falling behind here in my posting. Not that this was anything not to miss in the realm of LJ posting, but for the sake of posterity, and my fading memory, here is last Wednesday's post;

Thank you so much Melena for the lovely card and the adorable stickers, and thank you Pidge for the wonderful ghosty pumpkin postcard. I loved getting these! It's always so cheering to get a surprise in the mail. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you gals are the best : )

I had to stop by my PO Box to send some things out for Beau. I love the guys at Mailboxes Etc. because I've been going there for forever, they're always so nice to me, and we like to joke around, especially when some super uptight Brentwood client breezes through demanding service RIGHT NOW! When this happens I always clear the way and hang back knowing we'll have fun reenacting their rudeness after they've run off to spread their bad cheer elsewhere.

The little bit of TV I caught today was good. I love it when it's moving and hopeful. I saw Della win the KB Home give away on Martha, and since I was rooting for her it felt a little bit like I won too, yeay. I also saw some of the news, only the part where they were covering an upcoming episode of Extreme Home Makeover, with the police officer who was shot and paralyzed. I was so happy to see her get a new home.

I'm just waiting for the person who is going to sneak up on me to serve me with papers for my car accident. I kind of wish they'd get it over with already because it's starting to make me paranoid. Every time I see anyone lurking around my front yard I think, "Oh God, there he is." Well, most of the time the people who are lurking around my front yard are simply neighbors who are checking out the decor. I can't tell the difference between a neighbor and a process server. For all I know it'll be some cute little girl in a fairy princess costume on Halloween who asks me to hold her wand while she pulls out the papers from her candy bag. "Here you go nice Halloween lady, you've been served. By the way do you have any spare change for the March of Dimes?"

Okay, well, I've got a lot of work to do. I'll catch up with you and include some photos soon.

Love you,


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