I have to stop watching reality television or looking at the covers of anything tabloid-related, (I like to think that if I don't buy it I'm not contributing to the problem), at the super market because it's all such mean, negative crap. The magazines especially because they're such lies. I was watching House of Carters tonight, and like the Danny Bonaduce show, I end up feeling so sad and upset for these people. Forget that I know all of this is edited to within and inch of it's fake life, these people are fighting and I've got to get in there and do something about it! I just always want everyone to be happy and at peace. Some folks might call this codependent. I'm going to opt for seeing it as loving. On the other hand there is this part of me that does want to peek inside other people's lives, it doesn't matter whether they're famous or not, I'm just endlessly curious, and that's the artist in me. Put me in a restaurant at a table next to a couple of people having an interesting conversation and I'm in heaven.
So today is day two of my new Nutrisystem food plan thang. So far so good. If I'm to believe the scale I lost one pound in one day, which seems pretty impossible, which is why I think the scale is in collusion with my Mother and playing tricks on me in order to motivate me to keep going. Either that or Nutrisystem has some secret poopy ingredients in their food that makes you lose weight at some ridiculously unrealistic rate. I was honestly so freaked out last night though -- about the fact that I wasn't going to be able to anesthetize myself with food past dinner -- that I put myself to bed at eight-thirty. The last time I went to bed at eighty-thirty had to have been when I was six years old, or maybe when I had the flu? I know I need to find some sane balanced way of eating that I can stick to forever, but at least this will give me a kind of kick start and get the scale moving in the opposite direction again.
The last two days have been booked solid and it's been hard to do much work on the yard, but I did manage to get a few things done. I hung some more zombie heads and lights across the entryway, (It's way overzombied now), we put up the big two story monsters, hung the black light, top-hat-wearing ghost, moved some hay bales around, added some black lighting, and moved some tomb stones and pumpkins around. Esther and Concha decorated my Halloween tree in the bird cage, and put some of my small collectibles in their cases, which was such a relief to see when I came home. I'm so lucky.
Today I had to get up early to go to the dentist, the doctor, and then touch up my seriously rooty looking fake blonde hair. I broke a fairly new crown, which would cost fifteen hundred dollars a tooth times three to replace, great, so instead of replacing the crown I'm going to have to go for another implant, so that makes three implants I have to get. I'll put it off as long as I can and then go to the wonderful Dr. Uyehara. He'll knock me out somehow, and then drill little socket things into my jawbone, sew them back up, then we'll wait three months to be certain my body doesn't reject them, and after that he'll cut open the gums again, and screw the fake teeth in -- something like that. Weeee, eh? Whatever it is, it always beats cancer. But then again, if I had cancer, I'd probably think of something worse than cancer. I just feel so sorry for my friends. I can't help it.
Oh and pardon me but how screwed was it of Rush Limbaugh to say that poor Michael J. Fox was "exaggerating" his Parkinson's and that his behavior in his campaign advertisement "was purely an act"? When I heard this I felt sick because I really love this ad. I think Michael J. Fox is not only brave but right. Ordinarily I can agree to disagree with people whose politics offend me, but this is just mean, flat out mean.
Speaking of commercials, this is the one that I love the most right now. "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted."
Tomorrow I am finally going to force myself to finish off the yard. I want all of the kids and neighbors to be able to enjoy it for at least a few days before Halloween comes and goes. I have to dress all the mannequins, place them around the yard, finish up the tombstones, and get everything lit, and then we'll be done...outside. Inside we have to get rid of all of the clutter, and make our house seem like it isn't ruled by cats for the other eleven months and thirty days out of the year. Then I just have to make sure I mix up the candy bags in the cauldrons and get our food sorted out for Halloween.
I was telling Scott that my dream Halloween would be a little like this; I'd wake up happy and well rested, get dressed in my vampire costume, pick up my fangs from my dentist, finish up whatever needs doing, greet the first trick or treaters, and take wonderful pictures of them. Children would be happy and not too scared by the decorations. The Sisters would come and visit. Friends would come and visit. Neighbors would come and visit, and no one would be offended if I was too busy and rushed to really sit down and have a good chat. No one would want to go upstairs and see what a mess my room is. The house would not smell of cat pee. Scott would be happy, comfortable, easy going, and able to join in and have a good time, somehow. I would have tons of energy to last the whole night. Beau would have a great time with his friends and end up thinking that Halloween isn't such a bad holiday after all. Then when it was all over and the last trick or treaters trickle off, Scott and I would go upstairs, make love, and then cuddle and watch a super spooky movie.
The reality will likely be quite a bit different. Worst case scenario I'll be madly rushed up until the last minute. I'll probably miss the first trick or treaters, get shy and nervous around anyone who stops by, forget to charge my camera or lose it, and run out of candy. The house will be stinky, and by the end of the night I won't be able to stand, let alone feel sexual, and even if I did, Scott wouldn't want to, or be able to because my room will be too catty, he will be too snuffly, and he certainly won't have the energy to watch a spooky movie because he'll have to get up early to go to work the next morning even though I asked him to get the day off over a month ago. Oh well, whatever it is, it is. Never mind that one of my best friends has a major school assignment that she needs my help with ON HALLOWEEN, sigh.
Did I mention I had three shots today? I had my blood drawn, a flu shot, and a vitamin B shot. Yep, growing up is cool. You can get things like shots and not have to run away and hide in a parking garage like I used to do when I was little. I was pretty good at timing things so Mom and the doctor wouldn't catch me, but I was so dutiful that as soon as Mom came out and started calling my name, I'd walk right back out and go back in for the shot.
Life is such a trip isn't it? It seems like the more resolutions I make, the less able I am to do anything about them. I keep hoping and trying though, and at least I make a few people happy along the way. I was kind to the woman at the nail salon, and this was in stark contrast to the woman sitting next to me, who in between bursts of argumentative cell phone chatter about her movie and some deal memo, kept barking orders at the woman sitting at her feet giving her a pedicure, "Shorter! You...cut...shorter," she shouted, as if this young Vietnamese woman wouldn't understand such a simple thing. I didn't want to judge her but she was so rude, treating this woman like a servant, while she handled her all important HBO movie deal, so I did what I could to cheer the gals up, making them laugh using my few Vietnamese words, wanting to reassure them that at least someone sees them and values them as equals and not the foot and hand slaves that some women do.
My best moment today happened in my car. It was this really simple thing. I was in the parking lot at the market and there was a car coming towards me. There were two people in the car, a man and a woman. Their faces looked kind of set and serious. They were African American. I don't know why that figured into it but for some reason I feel like it did. Anyway, they looked as if they thought I was going to block their way, or keep them from getting a space, or do some other mean competitive Westside thing to them, but instead I smiled and let them pass, and the man looked at me with this surprised, and super relieved expression and then he smiled at me. It was the biggest, happiest, most energetic smile I've seen in ages and it completely lifted me up. Sometimes it's the tiniest things that make a day better.
Oh, like I need to be watching Martha Stewart baking chocolate brownies with Elizabeth Perkins and topping them off with ice cream and hot fudge sauce. Aha, this is what God invented the fast forward button for ; ) I already deleted everything food related; Top Chef, gone, Homemade Halloween Cookies, Cakes, and Candies, gone, gone, gone.
I think I'll sign off and watch skinny young models cat fight (America's Next Top Model) before bed.
PS: I LOVE You Tube.
The Northern Lights.
A Little Kitten Falling Asleep
One More Sleepy Kitten.