Jacqui (jacqui) wrote,

There's so much good TV on tonight, ack. I hate that I'm turning into a TV watching Queen, but it's fun and anaesthetizing. Darn you Mr. Scott. We've got the premiere of The Sopranos, but Scott is going to grab that on tape for me, then there's this Oprah, made-for-TV movie, that has Elizabeth Shue dressed down, Amy and Isabelle, and you're gonna laugh at me for this, but okay I am a total sucker for reality TV, no matter how fake it is, so I'm actually watching Pop Star, eeeeee. Are you cringing? I can't help it, all my life I thought I would be incredibly successful as a singer/actor so until I figure out how to get it together, it answers that yearning in me by letting me sort of, live through it vicariously.

I'm working really hard at paying off my eBay debts here, it's scary when you fall behind. It gets so I'm afraid to read my email.

I gave a potato chip or two to all of the ratties, the chinchilla, and the ferrets. Earlier I gave everyone a Frosted Flake. I know it's junk food, but it's just a little bit, and it makes them so happy and gives them a little treat-thing to look forward to. I trimmed some of the cat's nails so they won't tear us up when they jump up on our shoulder's and backs.

Eduardo ran in The LA Marathon. He finished in five hours. How did this little chubby boy I knew at five, turn into this strong athletic man? How much time is left before my son will be the same?

Hey does anyone know what this message, that my computer keeps telling me, means;

Error starting program
! A required.DLLfile,ICQCORE.DLL was not found

I think it must be something I threw away and maybe the program is in my start up and can't find a file it needs? Could it be a file for mIRC?

Also, and this sounds so lame and rudimentary, like something I should know, but I'm totally self taught here; you know when you download an installation program or a file and there is this little box icon that you click to start the installation? Can you throw those away after you've installed it? Whenever I do my computer tells me I'm going to lose some crucial information that the program needs.

I also get a lot of illegal action warnings that shut me down. Sometimes they say that a WAOL file caused an Invalid page fault in an unknown module, other times it tells me that WAOL caused a general protection fault in a module. What does this mean? I called AOL and asked them and they weren't any help at all.

Anyone want to take a stab at helping me understand what I can do to fix this?

Segue; My friend Susan introduced me to Conchatta Ferrel when I was trying to create a list of large sized actors who work a lot. I love that Susan loves women of all sizes and sees good acting no matter what form it takes or comes from. I'm so happy whenever I see her (Conchatta whose friends call her Chatty) in something. I think she teaches acting here in LA, and I met some nice friends of hers who would have hooked us up, but as always I shied away. I'm tremendously good at making connections and terrible at following through on them. I so want to improve this quality in myself. It's like the universe kindly lobs all of these opportunities in my direction and I just let them fall at my feet. This was just a minor one. I should make a list someday, the female head of comedy/sitcome development programming at one of the networks offering to meet with me and help me out, being one of the bigger ones. I actually left her business card behind, man.

I keep thinking about ana being nice to this sweet sad woman on the plane and meeting Laurie Anderson and sharing Xanax with her. I love my far away friend anawee. Lately she's been playing with Stacy, Stacy seems so creative and lovely with her pink hair and that sweet face.

Elizabeth Shue's character is reading Madame Bovary. There was a time when I identified so much with her, Madame Bovary, I still have a huge poster of the French version of the movie with Isabelle Hupert hanging on my stairway wall.

Oh God this scene where Elizabeth Shue as the mother, cut's off her daughter's hair reminds me so much of my Mother and me somehow. The way the daughter is sobbing, so wretched, so hurting and desperate, so full of unanswered pain. I know that sound. I hate this woman.

I want to be light and happy. I want life to be easy and sweet for my son. I keep trying, things are pretty good, but I'd sure like to give him a life free of stress and chaos.

Here's a great short little piece about Conchatta Ferrell;
Wake Up -- Other People Are Fat, Too! --Chris Rywalt

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